Igor and the Count by CJ Starr Released

Igor and the Count by CJ Starr
#19 in the City Girl Series
m/m short story, 20 pages
Rating: Creamy

Little known fact: Count Dragula of Transexualvagina is gay. Enter Igor, who has always been confused with his own sexual identity. Some might think it was due to the fact the he's a hunch backed troll, with a two inch penis! Igor runs away from home only to be kidnapped by a band of gypsies! Forlorn, he runs away (again!) and wanders the heavily forested rolling hills of Estonia until reaching an old castle in the village of Transexualvagina.

Inside a closet up in a castle, Count Dragula, only leaves his perch when he flies away for some human munching, otherwise he sleeps his life away in a coffin inside of a closet. He rarely leaves his coffin and definitely isn't interested in the two-foot troll with the name of Igor. But the pair has a connection that they can't escape. With Igor's help, after centuries of being in the coffin, will the Count at last come out? This is the true story of Igor and the Count. A gay satire fantasy vampire love story.

Excerpt:

Igor entered the eighth grade at 2 foot 10. Indeed, Igor was at an awkward age and size. Many boys kicked his ass because he (deliberately) bumped into their crotches with his nose. The kids that kicked his ass found this an offensive breach of propriety; because Igor would always make some snide comment on how big, the other students felt, through their pants. All the boys and girls had ostracized him. Yes, they all learned quickly to dodge his drooling, grinning, bump into, hump-backed, sniffing antics...

Then, at thirteen, Igor ran away from home. After a week of living under a bridge, pretending to be a troll, he encountered a roving band of gypsy midgets. They, being sympathetic with Igor's physical appearance, took him in.

But alas, Igor tired of their sexual abuses and ran off. He wandered around aimlessly for many days. Forlorn, he came upon an old castle located high on a hill in the village of Transexualvagina, population one (1).

Igor picked up a rock, scratched out the number 1, and etched a crude number 2 into the sign. Igor had found his new home. He then, whistling a somber tune, climbed the winding gravel road up to the castle's door.

Pushing aside thick swatches of spider webs and smashing many spiders, Igor entered the mold-scented granite megalith. It was very dark inside and the shadowy walls were full of graffiti and scratched notes by kids that had lost their virginity there. As he walked, Igor hoped that he too would one day add his own note. The thought of this gave him a two-inch erection as he forged forward up the cold stairs.

After stopping twice, to masturbate, Igor came to a solid oak door at the top of the castle's highest parapet. He found the door locked, from the inside. He began pounding on the door. He worked himself up into a maddened frenzy of knocking, pounding, and kicking the secured portal. After a good ten minutes of this deliberate idiocy, there came a muffled plea.

"Who's there? Who is it that pounds on my door? Go away!"

"It is I. Igor. I am looking for a home. Is this your castle? Who are you? May I stay here?"

Again, the muffled voice, "Go away! I'm the owner of this castle. I'm ordering you to leave, right now! If you must see me, come back after sunset. Now, off with you before I notify the authorities."

"Who are you, sir?" questioned, Igor, "What time should I come back? Did you say...after sunset?"

More muffled words emanated from behind the oaken barrier, "Yes, you...FOOL! After sunset!"

"What's your name?" Igor demanded.

"I'm Count Dragula. Now, go away!"

Chapter 2: The Count Awakes


A red-hued sunset colored the western horizon as Count Dragula began to stir inside his coffin, a coffin filled with his native soil. This casket ritual is the way of vampires. Count Drago, his own adopted nickname, finger felt his sleep produced erection and began fondling his nuts with formidable dexterity. His awakening would be complete when sperm shot from his eight-inch erection. Some days, it was only a matter seconds before he'd blast his wad. Some days, he'd play with his self for hours and only bruise his penis head. But that was rare. On this particular evening, he filled the palm of his hand with a hefty tablespoonful of milky white cum.

Opening his coffin with one hand was difficult for the Count. Inevitably, he'd make a sticky mess and have to wash down the coffin's lid. He didn't like this task and on several occasions, he'd vow to hire a maid. Once, he actually hired one. Then, he wound up sucking her neck and had to get rid of her body. However, I digress...

Drago kept his coffin in the parapet's closet. It was his way. There was something comforting about this to the core of his very being. He deftly left the closet and washed his tacky hands. It was dinnertime, so he went to his computer and studied the online Matchups.com site. There, he found a tasty looking female, one that was online; and, within 10-miles of his zip code. He immediately sent her the following e-mail.

Hello Pretty Little Girl,

You are a delicious looking creature. Do you want to meet? I can be at your place in a matter of minutes. I'm wide open for dinner, and sex, too.

Within a minute, Pretty Little Girl replied:

Hello Nice Man (Nice Man, is Drago's handle),

Yes, I'm horny and would like to go out for a bite. My address is, 146 Down the Lane. Please hurry!

Excited, Drago responded with a short reply:

Five minutes. Dress casual.

Then, just when the Count was going to turn into a bat, Igor began beating on the parapet's door. "Count Dragula! It's me, Igor. The sun has set! I'm back. Can I move in with you?"

The Count recalled his earlier disturbance by this Igor fellow. "Why do you want to live with me?" he asked through the closed door.

"Oh, because I love this beautiful castle and I don't have a home. Perhaps you need a roomy...someone to clean and be pals with you?" pleaded Igor.

The count considered this a minute and responded, "Can you wax a casket and keep deep dark secrets?"

Igor and the Count by C. J. Starr
erotica: male/male gay, paranormal, vampires
PDF/22 pages, 3861 words